WHY I (ALMOST) DIDN'T WRITE MY FIRST BOOK
"You have to get over yourself to truly share your work."
It took quite the leap for me to write my first book all those years ago.
In fact, I was so nervous about sharing such a personal story, such a tender part of me that it almost didn't happen at all.
I remember it so clearly. I was feeling the strong urge to share my story of the loss our daughter, Siena at just 20 weeks of my pregnancy.
But I didn't WANT to write it.
I'll be brutally honest with you here, every single time I would go to write, I didn't want to. My stomach would turn to knots and I just couldn't get the words on the page.
And the strangest thing happened next.
I would find myself in my weekly yoga class, lying down in resting pose (savasana for all you yogis out there ;) and I COULD NOT TURN OFF THE CHATTER IN MY HEAD.
It wasn't the usual monkey mind chatter.
You know the kind; when you can't turn your brain off and you find yourself listing out grocery items to pick up later or what you want to have for lunch, or that call you were supposed to make....
This was different.
It was the inner voice kind of chatter that reminded me (not kidding here) of the movie, Field of Dreams and when Kevin Costner keeps hearing, "If you build it, they will come."
It was a lot like that – but without Kevin Costner and all those adorable baseball players.
No, seriously, I'll get back to my story now.
I'd hear it, I'd feel it, and I literally felt the urge to JUMP OFF MY YOGA MAT and do nothing but
So I did.
I'd head home after class and write like crazy working on what would soon become my first book, "Letters to Siena: how I found myself after losing my baby."
And the really cool thing was that I knew exactly WHO the book was being written for. Sure, it was partly for me because it took me through my very deep (and much needed) healing process.
But the book was mainly written and published for all those people (mainly women, but some men) I would soon meet (and still meet) who have lost a child or a loved one. In sharing my experience; raw and unfiltered, I would open them up to their own healing and maybe even eventually sharing their own experiences someday.
When I finished writing the book and having a group of trusted friends and mentors edit it for me, it was ready to be released.
I want to make one thing crystal clear here, and that's this:
I never thought the book was any good.
I thought it was badly written. Even though I poured my heart out in it and shared parts of me that I hadn't shared with ANYONE. Even though I gave it all the love and energy I could give a piece of work.
I still thought it was sub-par.
And that's when I realized this about my writing and sharing stories in general:
YOU HAVE TO GET OVER YOURSELF IN ORDER TO TRULY SHARE YOUR WORK.
Otherwise, what people end up getting is an overblown, stuffy, wordy version of what you think they want – not what needs to be told.
And yes, of course edit, I'm not saying don't proof and edit and revise your work. Definitely do that. But whatever you do – don't make it something that's completely inflated and overly attached to you or your ego.
Because WRITING IT was never really about you anyway.
It was about all of us.
So now, I urge you to go do the work anyways.
In spite of your anxiety.
In spite of your schedule.
Just please, don't forget to: ENJOY the process.
All my love,
P.S. One of best ways to start writing unapologetically and from the heart is to start a blog. I'm hosting a FREE online challenge to Start Your Blog. Want to join me in the 5 day challenge? Click here to get on the early list!