This isn't for everyone

One of the biggest roadblocks that stopped me for a long time and still occasionally trips me up is

The thought that whatever “thing” I’m


bringing to form

whatever thing that it appears I’ve made that’s poured out of me - - that it should be for everyone.

When it just isn’t and it could never be for everyone.

If something is for everyone, it’s for no one. It’s like thin air, barely really there, or a one-hit wonder song from the 80’s. It’s really catchy until you can’t get it out of your head and now it just plain sucks.


I was talking with a mentor about how there’s an underlying thing with me in how I’ve wanted others to like me and I saw very quickly how much I like to make others feel comfortable. I’ve taken it so far at times to where they must be comfortable to me or I’m uncomfortable.

Why? A host of reasons. But that cute and tempting rabbit hole won’t catch me because I know it doesn’t really matter why.

What matters is the connection I see right now in wanting others to like us and by extension, the desire to also create, work, ship, give and offer in a way that is for everyone.

It’s like that kid I saw last week sitting out at her lemonade stand in mid thirty degree Iowa weather and rain attempting to sell her lemonade to the two or three runners that were just brave enough to get out there in the first place.

She looked depressed.
She looked cold.

And she obviously didn’t see that if anyone is going to pedal lemonade in these conditions, well, it better be pretty spectacular!

The more I’ve noticed just how much I want everyone around me to be okay and have come to realize that it’s really ME that wants to be comfortable and okay – the more I am okay with the uncomforable-ness of it all…

How much you might not like me or get my jokes
How the attempt at even guessing what someone else is thinking is lame
And just how much everything isn’t for everyone is great.

I know that just like the girl trying to give ice cold lemonade in freezing Iowa weather that there was someone I’m sure that did enjoy her gift of simple lemonade on a cold afternoon in the rain, or maybe on some level, she wanted to be there.

And how getting more and more comfortable with the un-soothing experience of No and This isn’t for me and I don’t want to engage with you is fine, and really, actually GOOD.

It defines you and lets your people into your world and see all of your mistakes, trials, and discomfort too.
It allows others who do hear your bird song at the level you’re singing it to join you.

And most especially, it releases any need for anything to be any particular way.

Dropping out and down and away from preference,

Again and again.

What’s on offer?

The OPPORTUNITY to CREATE ANYTHING YOU WANT and just Be You. No preference.

Until one day the feeling of being uncomfortable is just as fine as the feeling of comfort.

We move mountains from there.


Molly Downs